Thư giãn

MAT SALLET FROM DUNGGU LAND

One day, one MatSalleh (Caucasian) from USA arrived in Subang Airport, after he checked out from the custom, he feel wanted to go to the toilet, so he is looking for the toilet, when he found the toilet, there is a old lady sitting in front of the toilet.

When he is about entering the toilet, the old lady stoped him and said forty cent in Cantonese ( Say Kok ), the MatSalleh just wonder why in Malaysia had to see cock (forty cent in cantonese)
before entering the toilet ?

He said No, but the old lady insist, So no choice, he take out his and show her. The old lady said no, no, no, duit, duit (money in malay) but the MatSalleh misunderstand again because he
thought she said "DO IT, DO IT" so he ask " NOW, HERE ?". The old lady just reply "YES, YES", because she doesn`t understand English.

The MatSalleh thought she agreed to have sex with him, so he strip up the old lady and make love with her, but the old lady screaming and said " SAKIT, SAKIT" (Pain in Malay) again he
think is suck it, suck it, he said "OK, I suck for you", and take the breast and suck.

The old lady again said "YA ALLAH, TUHAN."

"Too HARD, OK sweet heart, I`ll be gentle a bit, OK?" the MatSalleh said.

Suddenly the security walk by, and the old lady asking for help, "TOLONG, TOLONG, ENCIK."

"No too long, just about 6 inches only" he replied.


GEOGRAPHY OF WOMANHOOD

From 13 to 18 a woman is like Africa - virgin and unexplored. From 19 to 35 she is like Asia - hot and exotic. From 36 to 45 she is like America - fully explored and free with her resources. From 46 to 55 she is like Europe - exhausted, but still has points of interest. From 56 on she is like Australia - everyone knows it`s down there but no one gives a damn.


MASTER PIECE

In a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you`re saying there is a lot of glucos, as in sugar, in male seman?"

"That`s correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn`t it taste sweet?"

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl`s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertantly said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class ... and never returned.

However, as she was going out the door, the Profs reply was classic... Totally stright-faced he answered her question, he stated "It doesn`t taste sweet, because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue".


Chuyện thứ nhất :
Trong một bệnh viện tâm thần, bác sĩ thử kiểm tra trí tuệ một bệnh nhân để cho ra viện. Bác sĩ hỏi :
- Tôi có thể lấy búa đóng đinh vào đầu anh được không ?
Bệnh nhân nhanh nhẹn trả lời :
- Ông làm như tôi điên chắc, ông định giết tôi hay sao ?
Bác sĩ nghĩ bụng chắc anh này hết điên rồi, có thể ra viện được. Để cho chắc bác sĩ hỏi thêm :
- Tại sao như thế lại không được ?
Bệnh nhân trả lời :
- Thế nhỡ ông đóng trượt cái đinh, cái búa đập vào đầu tôi thì tôi chết à!!!

Chuyện thứ hai :
Bác sĩ trong bệnh viện tâm thần đi ra sân thì thấy rất nhiều bệnh nhân đang trèo ở trên cây. Bác sĩ hỏi :
- Các anh làm gì ở trên đó thế ?
Các bệnh nhân đồng thanh nói :
- Có cái này hay lắm, bác sĩ trèo lên đây thì biết.
Bác sĩ tò mò cũng trèo thử lên cây. Các bệnh nhân reo lên sung sướng và nói :
- Thôi bây giờ chúng ta tiếp tục chơi